Hope

It's been a while or should I say....ages? since the last post. Every time I tried to write something, I only managed to do it halfway. I guess writing is just one of many talents that I don't have. To write a paragraph, it takes a week. To complete a hundred pages thesis, it took me almost a year. Whew!! Hope it won't take longer this time. I really want to complete my study within  the designated period this time...Insya Allah. What happened lately? Nothing much. I'm still a student. Yes, I'm still struggling. Struggling to have everything, but Allah knows best. Allah gives me everything that I needed the most. I may not get everything I always asked for, instead Allah gave all the things that I never asked. And I begin to learn...learn to accept things without questioning further...why I get this? why he get that? why my life is turning upside down? accepting without knowing the reason is difficult. Even though I know that Allah has planned everything, but sometimes my heart denied. This is when I learn not to blame my husband. This is when I learn accepting is difficult but when I did, things become easier. At the age of thirty-one, I'm starting to feel as if I am battling with time. It is late, I think...to feel that way. Some have start their battle at earlier age compared to me. Then I started to realize, time has been the most valuable gift that Allah blessed me with but it is me who made it less valued. Thus, I need to change....people change. Your life is changing when you're married. Your life is changing when you have children. Your life is changing during the time you are raising your children. Your life is changing when you get a new job and etc etc....We always need an occasion to make a change. Yes...I always wait for something good to happen before turning my life to another course. I have made up my mind, I will not wait anymore. I want to learn. I want to learn everything that I should have from the beginning. So friends who are reading...please pray for me. Let us make this Ramadhan a starting point...a starting point to increase our iman & knowledge...a starting point of becoming a good husband/wife, good parent, good child and most important, good slave to the Almighty, Allah swt. Insya Allah.